冰冷的心

我的心又结了冰了。。。怎么办？。。。。

好久没这个感觉了。。。

感觉新的吉隆坡生活好无趣。。。

心好像被封锁了。。。

对一切事物好像隔了一道墙。。。

怎么办？！

感触....爸爸 妈妈 人生

3 June 2011,

今天，
早上陪老爸和老妈去巴刹。。。
自从我上了学院以后，好久没陪他们去巴刹了。。
我看到很多卖东西都是中年人和老人。。。他们都为他们的生活打拼~
那时我有感触，我在想即使。。。赚到很多钱,可以买到自己想要的东西。。。
的确很快乐,但那是短暂的快乐。。。表面的快乐。。。不是内心的永久快乐或内在的富裕!!
但没钱，买不到自己要的东西时呢？= 痛苦？争扎？！
因贫穷被人看不起时呢？-憎恨 ？！ 发誓一定要变有钱人？！那我们就会拼！那就跟以上我讲的老年人一样，拼到老 ？！。。。

这时刻我只想要简单和快乐的生活....

刚才看到老妈折纸，搬纸（从工厂拿来的纸，〉 折纸，搬纸是我妈的工作）。。。
我看老妈折纸和搬纸到很累。。。看了很心痛。。56岁了~。。。
这都是为了生活。。。（自从老爸去年轻微制中风以后，换了几分工作。。因为体力有限，和不适合。。。。所以现在老爸没工作了。。在家帮老妈打扫和etc。。。当然我哥和姐有多给家用，叔叔也有帮忙。。。但还是很足够）
晚上，老爸帮忙“削”Ban kuang 和 红萝卜。。。准备做“Cai Kuey“的材料。。。。老妈负责做Cai Kuey。。。。这些Cai Kuey都是有人订的。。。。
我是他们唯一的负担，我还剩两年就大学毕业了。。。
看他们这样工作，我心很难受。。。像赶快毕业，赚多多钱。。。想要给老爸和老妈更好的生活（虽然，老妈跟我讲：“虽然现在我们的生活比较辛苦，但我和你老爸都很快乐”)
所以从小我只有一个梦想，那就是成功的企业家....希望在三十岁前能达到
想要赚钱和当企业家的代价是 〉 时间和体力 ！

我的梦想和我早上所感触的。。。就像水和火。。。
根本就两个大大的差别 !

怎样才是真的快乐？富裕？。。。。矛盾 ！！

The Result After I have been Change My Attitude

Last year, 8 sep 2010.....
I have said i want to change my attitude:
-not talking too loud...
-need to talk slower....
-less control people & try to hear suggestion from the others...
-less siao kia

Ya,now 7 month pass...
i have change almost 75%......
But what i get ?!...
The others will just bully ....din respect me...
When others keep "shoot" me,i just talk to them politely.
.bcoz i have promise myself to change own attitude..... but,they r just keep "shoot" me....WHAT THE HELL !!....
Is over until....even i post anything on FB,they also want comment some nonsense or "shoot" me....what i post on FB is serious stuff....not JOKING !!

When join them at public places,they also doing the same thing..... WTF !
Especially "some1" ! when at public places,he talk lounder to me n pretend angry...
i just directly quiet...i m not scared on him ! bcoz is not point to talk with him !
Maybe 1 day, he dare do that on me again !....i will shout him 99 !...

From what i have write just now,is after i change my attitude....more more people is not respect me ! ...

New semester gonna start soon...
i will change my own attituse to be moderate ! n wont let any people bully on me again !! "YOU" want n c what happen soon !!

1983

Now is March 25 ,3.25am.......

After i start my new semester....
i was so busy.....
Until yesterday just finish all my coursework....
and now waiting my final exam at begin of the april......

Last few weeks..i going to an electric therapy clinic...
I saw so many adult or oldman which have stroke before.....
An old ladies..hand,fingers,leg ...有些向内弯，有些向外弯...
she told me...it was an car accident happen at 1983......
After that accident......his hand,fingers and leg get infection and injured...
She din go for therapy....bcoz too busy and need take care of her dad......
until the last 5 years...she only come for this electric therapy...
the thing make me suprise is she still can drive even walking also be a problem for her !!! She tell me....:"although my hands and legs become like this,i still can drive...bcoz we need to be independent and we cant depend on the others forever".....this sentence make me feel so meaningfull and its fix into my mind edi "Independent" !!

Recently....Japan happens earthquake and its cause tsunami.....so many human dead...
and earthquake happen again at Myanmar yesterday....O.O..... OMG !!!
It's just like a symptom telling to us 2012 is gonna to be happen?!
It's so near to Malaysia...
Prays for Japan and Myanmar :(
God bless them....god bless the world....

Nitez every1 ....

Final Exam :( >> Holiday ^^ >> CNY :D

WaA~~ I long time din blogging d ^^

After test ,i busy clean my home for cny ...

and today almost every frd back to school and work edi..

So,finally i have my real own time xD

TARC Y2SEM2 FINAL TEST (7Jan-19Jan2011),

I from 2nd Jan,start study for final test ...

That 18days,i just like in HELL....everyday sleep around 6 hours b4 test reach...

During test ,i everyday almost sleep 2 hours/1 hours or din sleep !! WTH !!

Bcoz the test time table is too pack !!

After test the 3rd subject FAF i very DOWN !!bcoz the question is totally out of my expectation !!

Next,my 5thh subject Business Econ....i quiet tiring that day....

i din done well in this subject

After the test finish ,my whole body like want seperate into few pieces !

DAMN F*CKING tired !!

Night i going out dinner with my classmate ...

after that we go VOODOO for clubbing ~~

yeah yeah ~ *shake shake ....

but i feel MOIS is nicer ....

After back from there,i continue go classmate home drink alcohol drinks ....*devil laugh

The next day, we going to Prangin Mall and 1st Avenue...i go thr to survey DSLR...

and we go 1st Avenue cinema watch “笑着回家”... it's damn FUNNY !!! especially "JLB" this words....which means JIAK LIAO BI ....LMAO !!

After that....friday is last day i stay at penang n prepare going back to hometown....

1st i go to cut a new hair style ^^...i can style my hair as normal korean pattern or mohawk pattern xD

then,I going to Queensbay buy CNY shirt ,pants and etc ^^

HOLIDAY !!

After i back to hometown,

1st mission is help my mum to clean up my family "Books Room"

i choose those old books and bring it to recycle...

then allocate each book to their own category...

There are so much of dust ~always make me "harrrrrr qiuuuuuuu"

i spend whole day to finish my "1st mission"

the 2nd day,

i need to clean up my home storeroom

i have find many toys that i play when i still child ~~

but some spoil edi ....T.T i need throw it

This is the remaining toys ^^

Let me introduce to u all...

Pokemon model~i have over 100pcs !!

This is DIGIMON 02 and DIGIMON 03 Device !!

The green 1,still can work...

really miss my childhood^^

级斗战车 !!

爆旋陀螺 ！！

The 3rd mission is tidy up my wardrobe...

i have choose many old shirt n pants...some of it donate to orphan house and some throw into dustbin T.T

Bcoz those form 3/4 "La La" shirt and pants,i wont wear them go out again !! ....hahax

Then 25 Jan,

i going to penang again....

today i going to buy DSLR!!!

I have been survey around 7 month !!

At 1st i dunno whether to choose NIKON D90 or Canon 60D....

Canon 60D features is more awesome ...

but many professional photographer said ...

NIKON colour and depth is better ~

So i believe them ^^

Ta~~nah~~~My NIKON D90 !!

After i bought this DSLR,i m officially bankrupt !!

I owe my dad RM2k !! ><

But i am very happy ,bcoz finally i have my own DSLR ^^

HAPPY RABBIT YEAR :D

除夕,

mum wake up earlier in the morning....

and prepare foods material...

cook ~~~

then my relatives come to my home and pray our ancestors 1st...

AT night,is reunion dinner time !!!!!

This 1 of the part i most craving of....^^

At sharp 12am,i can hear many firecracker voice !!

and my phone keep "ring ~~~~"....

got a lot of message wish ...:P

初一，

many relatives come to my home...

and i get many ang pao too ^^

and i keep eating biscuit ~~

homecook food ...

OMGOSH !! i m getting fatter ~~

night i going to temple n pray ^^

初二，

Whole family going back to grandmother(mum side) house ^^

there also have a lot of delicious foods ~~ and...............VODKA ~~...*devil laugh

and got alot of ang pao !!!

初三night,

I and my parents going to Sunway Carnival Mall watch

I Love Hong Kong

DAMN FUNNY !!! LOL !!

初四，

I going to Who's Bryan to meet up my secondary school frds...

we 1 year only reunion once ^^

All of them r change xD

Some talk about future business....some discuss about their DSLR...some talk about their Iphone4...

and at last we gamble @@...i have lose rm7 ><

别误会。。。这是拜祖先的~

团圆饭！！！！ 新年里我最爱的一部分 ！！

佛教里的十供 ~ 每一样东西带来不同的意义。。

我老爸 ^^

三舅和他的狗- MAX~

老妈~和我可爱的侄女 :P

Tonight i n parents going to cousin BBQ partyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~~~....yeah ^^

2molo my old friends,Wai Kee come to my house over9 and will follow me n my parents going to 极乐寺 :DDD

9Feb, my Y2S2 result is coming out ><.....wish my business econ will pass~~~~ang kong po pi ....

noon will going to Ah wan house gather with penang island friends ^^

At last,i at here wish everyone HaPpieeeeeeeeeee Rabbitttttttttttttt Yearrrrrrrr ^^

X'mas eve and The horrible dream..

24Dec,
Yeah ~~~~ it's xmas eve !!!
Early morning,i am so excited...
but ofcoz need to go tuition 1st ><...
After tuition,
i , hian n mel go to TESCO buy some food material for later to cook at mel house....
Then, we going to econ class.....@@...

After econ class,i go mel house...to prepare the food....
The people who attend the mel xmas party include:
Me,mel,hian,noel,ah guat,ching li,bea n bea sis,steph,mel family and liu long... xD
We from 5.30pm prepare the food until 8pm ++...
then some of us cant hold it anymur, and then "curi makan"....==
Next,Liu Long reach mel house....and he start to make his "拉面" ....
wooooh~~~~the real "noodle kung fu"....i be his " Noodles Apprentice" ...lol...
His "拉面"...is f*cking delicious !!!....damn !..hahax
The food we have is cheezy sausage,meatball,nugget,egg n tuna sandwich,mushroom soup( this is specially make by mel and the material include 5 type of "moku"..),salad,mash potato,and the last 1 is ...................TURKEY !!!! *This turkey is make by mel mum,this is my 1st time eat this !..woooooooohhhhh~~~its also f*ucking delicious ~~~ LMAO....

Mel mum also get her “中国白酒” and let us drink ...wooooohhh~~~
its 1st time for me too ^^....the alcohol level is so high !!
Ching li just drink 1 cup,then her eyes turn to red edi...ofcoz she not yet drunk...
I drink few cups too....luckily i also din drunk ...hehe ^^

Its 12am,ding dong !!!
We raise up our wine cup and said " Merry Christmas !!! "
Then we play a game with poker card..."Police and The Killer " ..
This game include judge,police,killer and citizen...
Killer need to confuse citizen that his is not killer and make all the citizen feel the police is the killer....
Police need to lead the citizen point to the killer and make him out of the game....
It's reali "宫心计" ....

We play and talk till 7am...
that time i was totally exaushted and take a nap till 8am....
then i back to my hostel by driving my car..that time my eyes still @@...

25 Dec,
I from 9am sleep till 4pm....@@
My classmate invite me to paradise beach at night....
i din go,bcoz i feel want to go back home...hehe
After i reach my home....
i and my old secondary frds going to RAJA UDA TOM YAM !
Yummy ~~~few month din go thr edi..^^

26 Dec,
8.40am i have wake up,but i press my class to off mode ...
and continue sleep....
Then, i have make a horrible dream in my live....
The dreams story is like this:
" When i wake up.....i realise every1 is crying....
i feel weird.... then i found out i was dead ! ><....
I feel so sad ~and my soul go find mum and said " why i so young,and i die edi !...i still got lot thing not yet done....i still din become billionaire and etc....
i am cry badly....i am confuse and dunno when i was die....i remember at midnight i still got sms my frds Noel....then my soul directly appear at my frds thr....he show me his phone and thr write 3.11am i still got sms him....i m cry and tell him..."pls tell my mum,dont put me in coffin and buried me yet"and the i was awake at 11am....it's lucky is just a dream !...My heart feeling is reali like a real 1....just like i cried b4......><.....

But,anyway its just a dream......^^
It's to be good that i still alive .......

"He" and "She"

算一算。。。。都已经七个月了。。。
“他” 和 “她” 都还在原地踏步。。。
“他” 在等着 “她” 的旧伤疗好。。。。
如今，“她” 疗好90% 了。。
“她” 一直当“他” 是好朋友而已。。。。。
“他” 真的不知道该如何。。。。进退两难。。。。
“他”很少会遇到让“他”心动的 “她”。。。。。
如今，遇到了，却不能做什么。。。
只能继续等待或放弃。。。。
“他”真的很不想放弃。。。
“他”很想去争取，但担心争取到最后。。。还是失败，连朋友也当不成。。。。
“他”也很想不顾一切后果，直冲就对了。。。
但有怕伤害到 “她”。。。。

“他”觉得“她”已经发现“他”已经爱上“她”了。。。。。
最近，当“他” SMS “她”时，“她” 只是敷衍的恢复“他”而以。。。。
“她” 是要 “他” 对 “她”死心而已吗？？？

“他”时常想起“她”。。。。
当“他”想起“她”时，
心情会变得很复杂。。。。。
心情变得：
低落。。。。
有一股冲动想要打给“她”听听“她”的声音。。。
想见见“她”。。。。
听“她”喜欢听的歌时，都会想起“她”。。。。
“他”是疯了吗？！不正常了吗？。。

“他”对“她”的感觉是认真的。。。。
“他”真的很矛盾。。。
“他”该继续等待或争取呢？
“他”只能希望将来会有改变吧。。。。

“他”要对“她”说 ：“我真的很想念你！”。。。“我对你是认真的 ！ ”。。。。“你听到了吗？！”........